something

don't even know the point of blogging. never did. but it feels like it could one day be valuable. not sure what for though.

today, I notice a few things about me:

i hate being cold.

i love being outdoors.

i love learning.

i need to work a LOT harder at ENJOYING the journey. i always understood the phrase "enjoy the journey" to be another way of saying 'don't just focus on the end and act like everything sucks until then - the journey is a great part of it, too!'. 

But this whole time I guess people were trying to say enjoy the journey, because if you put off all your enjoyment until the end, and expect some kind of 'new-life-unlocked' situation, you will be sorely disappointed.

sadly, I had this epiphany a few months ago and tried to get myself to have fun while studying. And I was successful, but it was never my problem. I already like learning. What I don't like is the constant risk-assessment of doing this activity or that activity at the expense of learning more or learning more deeply.

I wrote a letter to a stranger and haven't heard back yet. I may have come off too weird. I just tried to be myself, but apparently being myself included mentions of poetry and philosophy and art and gardening and medicine and music and physics. There just aren't that many people anymore that like a lot of things. like a true ecological system, evolution has seemed to favor those that specialize their focuses on one thing... they seem to value those that can say, "I want to know this and don't care at all to learn anything else."

I could never live that way.